I had several big long responses I'd been typing up for the past few hours, including a big long list of honest improvements to make the discord server a better and more inviting place, but it's all just a gigantic, pointless waste. A fact I'm reminded of by every single disingenuous, hypocritical, or malicious word you write as well as every single dismissive or judgmental response in this thread. Liquid, I'm done with you. I'm done letting you bait me into these situations. I'm done letting you prop me up as a strawman. I'm done being a scapegoat for everyone's problems. I'm done being a sucker for silly drama. And most of all I'm done expending a disproportionately inordinate amount of energy and care for people hate my guts and being made to hate myself by people like you. Ain't nobody need that in their lives. You claim it's not personal, but it is, and that's literally the only reason why I'm arguing this.
I've enjoyed everyone's company, even if you've hated mine, and I bear you all no real ill will. I'm not so petty and vindictive and small minded that I would burn all bridges around me. Because while I could storm out throwing a lot of shade in a lot of different directions, that isn't who I want to be, and that isn't really reflective of how truly I feel. I'll still type things here from time to time, and if you care to y'all can find me in all the various other internet platforms you could find me at before, I'm just out on this discord. If we don't ever end up speaking again, know that I wish you the best, even you liquid you recalcitrant bastard. Find some real happiness out there that isn't just at the expense of others. This isn't me being petty or issuing ultimatums or playing a high stakes game of chicken. I'm just spent, and tired of being a part of this silliness. The world is too big, and this place is too small to be this upset over.
I too have got a little TV anecdote to share. The other night I downloaded the direct-to-TV Ghibli movie I hadn't seen in forever, Ocean Waves, this time in glorious 1080p. I have a lot of thoughts I want to share on that one but have held back doing so here because it would have been unwelcome and/or unappreciated. But the one idea I will share is that at the end of this coming of age film, after being away at college for a year, these kids come back home for a class reunion and reminisce about how silly their problems were in high school, and how riled up over nothing they got. And it took going out into the world to realize how small their personal worlds were and how silly they'd been. And that reminded me of everyone here. This week I was Muto, intentionally closing herself off from her peers and getting picked on by gossipy busybodies that couldn't stand someone going against the flow. Plenty of other times the roles have been reversed and it's someone else's turn to get bullied or feel heat because someone like myself can't put their petty little differences into perspective. But it had me thinking and placing things in perspective, and I just hope everyone can eventually do the same enough that it doesn't push anyone else away. I'm stepping back from discord and giving people space; nobody else needs to do that or go to the extreme darfox went to (nor do I want anyone to), but maybe taking baby steps back once and a while and getting reoriented would be helpful for all involved.
And one last thing I will add that I don't mind or care anymore about taking the fall for this one, but shame on any of you blaming Cross for this. All he's done was observe how stupid this was from the very first minute, and point out how hypocritical and unbalanced this business has been. He might be a little blunt with how he handles his points, but he's done no finger pointing, no name calling, and all he's done is stand up for what he thought was right. I know a number of you, maybe even a majority of you have beef with me, but please don't let that cloud your judgement and misdirect your frustrations at me towards Cross.